Pranks and Cleverness
by Bookcrazysongbird
Summary: A series of one-shots about times Hermione and her friendship with the twins. An AU in which Fred never died. Marked as complete, though updates will continue sporadically. Not necessarily in order.
1. Extra Credit

Fred and George were busy working on their latest prank product. It was a potion based prank that was supposed to make the unfortunate recipient "catch a cold". However, unlike their skiving snackboxes, the cold was supposed to develop slowly, so that it would look natural. They had all the symptoms right. The runny nose, the constant sneezing, the headaches, the coughing, they had even managed to make it incurable by the normal pepper-up potions; anyone who had been slipped this potion would have to wait a full three weeks after the symptoms peaked before they would fade. The only thing they still needed to do was stop the symptoms from appearing instantaneously.

"Maybe if we added some shrivelfig,"

"But wouldn't that cause a reaction with the wartizome?"

"True, it might also cancel out the…"

From behind then, they heard a voice, "Cancel out the what, exactly?"

The two jumped and turned around, only to find the only person who had prevented more of their pranks than Professor McGongall and Snape combined. "Hermione!"

"What brings you to this secluded, rarely used portion of the castle?"

She held out her hand, palm up, "Hand it over boys,"

With a sigh, the twins glanced at each other, and Fred handed over the papers that detailed what it was supposed to do, what they had tried, and their plan to slip it into chocolates from a "secret admirer" to send to Malfoy. They had made the plans after watching him bully a few Ravenclaw firsties and had included that as well.

They watched with dread as her eyebrows raised as she read through the details. She began glaring at the paper when she saw the reason for this particular prank. Finally she handed the papers back, "An impressive potions project to say the least. It's nice to see you two finally taking some initiative and trying for some extra-credit,"

Fred and George looked at each other in shock before Fred nodded in confusion, "Er, thanks Hermione,"

"In fact," she continued, "Five points, each, to Gryffindor for showing initiative in potion-making," She nodded at the two and turned to walk away. Right before she was out of the room, she turned around, "Oh and boys, an ounce or two of Moondew drops should do it," with that, she walked away without another word.

The twins looked at each other, flipped through their research, and realized, "Good Merlin, Fred, she's right!"

"We'll have to thank her somehow, George,"

Hermione never did say where she got that Honeydukes's chocolate from.


	2. Shop Hunting

**AN: Here's the next chapter! Yay!**

Hermione was not a runner and she never had been. So when, in the end of the third week of school, the twins burst into the Gyffindor common room saying they needed her help before grabbing an arm each and dragging her along behind them at top speed, she was not pleased.

"Fred and George Weasley! If you two don't tell me _why_ you're dragging me halfway across the castle, so help me I will set... some sort of animal on you two!"

At this the twins, who each had a hold of one of her arms stopped, "And where," Fred began.

"Are you going to find such an animal?" George finished.

Hermione shrugged as well as she could while they had a hold of her arms, "I'll transfigure it out of something else,"

At this, the twins blanched, knowing full well that she wouldn't hesitate to do so. They looked at each other, neither wanting to start.

She shrugged off their hands and turned to George, "George. Explain,"

"I'm not George, I'm Fred," he tried, clearly stalling.

She rolled her eyes, "Nice try George, I can tell you two apart,"

It was true, if there was one thing Hermione hated more than anything else, it was not knowing something. And no one seemed to know how to tell the twins apart. She had eventually, after several days of trying to find a difference, realized that one had hair a shade darker. It took another two weeks to figure out which of the two twins had the darker shade, but once that was done… It was a pretty minute difference, she wasn't surprised that no one else had noticed it, but it was there. Also, George seemed to have a slightly more analytical mind, whereas Fred seemed to be more inclined to act without thinking about the consequences. The incident Ron had told her about involving his teddy bear transforming into a spider coming to mind.

The twins, upon the revelation that she could tell the two apart, gaped at her, "You can tell us apart?" George asked.

"How is that,"

"possible?"

"We didn't think,"

"anyone could tell us apart."

"If we weren't sure,"

"of our own identities,"

"I don't think we,"

"could tell each other apart,"

"Sometimes we think,"

"we might have it,"

"backwards, ourselves," Fred finished.

Hermione sighed and rubbed her temples, the twins double-speak always gave her a headache, "You two do that just to give the rest of us headaches, don't you?"

Fred gave a sheepish grin, "Actually, we do it to add to the confusion on who's who for the rest of you. I guess there's really no point in doing that when it's just you around, is there?"

She shook her head, "It only gives me a headache and makes me more irritable,"

George nodded, "Right then, we need your help,"

She rolled her eyes, "I'd managed to gather that, somehow, the question here, is with _what_?"

"Well," George began, "You know we want to start our own business, right?"

Hermione nodded sourly, "Why else would you have kept experimenting on first years?"

Fred laughed nervously, "Right. Well, we need your help negotiating with this guy who wants to let us buy a storefront at Diagon Alley. We have a meeting set up in about three hours,"

"I am not sneaking out of the school!" she interjected, now recognizing the corridor as the one leading to the hump-backed witch statue.

"We know, we know!" Fred held his hands up, "We got permission!"

Hermione blinked, "You got permission to leave school grounds?"

"George nodded, "Yeah, we did, and believe me we were surprised too,"

Fred snorted, "No we weren't. We may or may not have promised McGongall to not pull any pranks in Transfiguration this year,"

Hermione furrowed her brow, "Do you normally prank classes?"

"Oh yeah all the-" Fred noticed Hermione's glare, "Uh, no almost never. She just… Appreciated the guarantee! Yeah, that's what I'm going with. Yep, just a guarantee,"

"That being said," George pulled Hermione's away from his twin, "we are still sneaking out of the school,"

"I thought you just said you had permission,"

"We do," Fred said, "from McGongall. But not, from Filch, who patrols the ground. And lately, he's been bringing people up before Umbridge instead of McGongall,"

"Umbridge who we also don't have permission from," George muttered.

"But McGongall's going to cover for us!" Fred assured her hurriedly.

"Up until three o'clock," George specified, "so we've got plenty of time."

Hermione yelped, "Three o'clock! That only gives us three hours for the meeting and three hours before!"

She took off running down the passage, George and Fred hot on her heels.

"Woah, Hermione!" Fred called, "Six hours is a lot of time!"

"Not for a business transaction!" she called hurriedly. Reaching the statue, she tapped it and muttered, "_Dissendium_" Harry had been nice enough to share that particular secret.

"How do you know the password?" George asked.

"I know everything," she replied confidentially as she clambered into the passageway.

The twins dropped in afterwards and she set out at a brisk walk down the secret corridor.

"So," Hermione began, "what do you know about this property?"

"Well," George said, "It's prime real estate, storefront in Diagon Alley with a flat that's big enough for the both of us above it. We're prepared to pay a lot of money for it,"

"How much are you prepared to pay for it?" Hermione asked.

"We were thinking a maximum of 2000 galleons," Fred answered.

Hermione froze, "Did you _tell_ this guy that?"

"Yeah," Fred asked confusedly, "Why?"

"I'm…" Hermione began slowly, "still not super sure about how wizarding currency works… It's very disorganized, but that sounds like far too much money,"

"We know," George shrugged, "But that's a maximum. He was _very_ eager to set up a meeting with us after we told him that, which is why we need your help. Then we can continue to play the stupid hoodwinked boys and you can actually get the cost to a reasonable price on our behalf,"

"Thank God we were at least smart enough to call you in!" Fred winked playfully at Hermione, "Otherwise we'd be completely lost!"

Hermione laughed, "Ok, that's actually fairly clever. So what kind of price were you actually thinking?"

"We, quite literally," George explained, "Can't afford anything more than 1,000 galleons."

Fred snorted, "And we only have that much because Harry gave us a start-up capital. We're making more from our experiments, but all of that is pouring into research, not business. We're not entirely sure what a reasonable price would be,"

"Alright," Hermione said determinedly, "Let's do this,"

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George and Fred were in awe as Hermione dragged them up and down Diagon Alley, interviewing shop owners. She was a force of nature, sending them in separately from her so they could hear what she was saying without it being clear that they were one party, and then tricking the shopkeepers into telling her what she wanted to know.

"Can I help you find anything?"

"No, we're just browsing some of your incredible merchandise. But do you have any recommendations?"

"Ah, yes, these watches over here, fine objects and nearly 100 years old,"

"Really? They must be older than this shop!"

"Oh, hardly, Miss, this shop has been in my family since the early 800s,"

"Incredible! So long! It makes sense, though. I can't imagine Diagon Alley without it,"

"You are very kind, Miss…"

"Oh, how rude of me, Hermione Granger,

"Miss Granger, of course, and what brings you to Diagon Alley today? You look school aged still,"

"Oh, I'm just accompanying some friends. They're attempting to buy the storefront in between the Stationary shop and Potage's Cauldron Shop. I'm here for moral support."

"Really? I'm glad to hear that. It's been sitting empty for far too long,"

"I agree, sir, but…"

"What?"

"Oh, it's nothing really, it's simply… Well it's really none of my business,"

"You've peaked my curiosity, Miss Granger"

"I'm afraid the owner is cheating my friends, but I don't know too much of business transactions, and I don't want to pry,"

"Cheating them? Whatever do you mean?"

"They mentioned that he said 2000 galleons would be a reasonable price, and while I don't know for sure, that seems a bit too much,"

"A bit! My dear, that is far too much, more than double the price that would be reasonable for a storefront in that part of the Alley!"

"Really? Oh, I need to warn them!"

"Indeed, young lady, I would go right away. 2000 galleons! My word!"

"What would be a reasonable price, Sir?"

"Normally, I would say 1000 galleons, but given the situation, if the man is allowed to ask for more than 600 galleons after being caught wanting such an exorbitant price, well, I would take it up with him myself!"

"Oh, thank you so much sir, I'll go right away,"

"Yes, young lady, Merlin grant you speed,"

Similar conversations took place around the alley, much to Fred and George's amusement.

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By the end of it, every shop keeper she had asked had said 1000 was a reasonable price, but a median of about 700 was the most such a cheat could ask for. Hermione muttered to herself the whole walk to the meeting and steeled her shoulders before walking inside. As the meeting began, both Weasley brothers watched in amazement as Hermione drove the seller into a corner.

"Are you saying Mr. Ollivander is not a man of honor? Madam Malkin? Mr. Gambol? Mr. Japes? Mr. Potage? Madame Azare?"

"Well, no of course not!"

"All of these people suggested numbers between 500 and 800 galleons! And you want 1000?"

"Um, well, 500 to 800 you said?"

"Yes, most around 600,"

"Perhaps we could compromise? At say, 800 galleons?"

"500,"

"700?"

"Well-"

"675?"

"I suppose that could work,"

"Brilliant! 675 it is! Glad to do business with you, Miss Granger,"

"You as well, sir. Now, let's discuss this contract,"

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In the end, the meeting itself only took one hour, the too flustered man clearly glad to get Hermione out of the room as soon as possible. The twins waited until they had walked out of the office and into the alley before they suddenly attacked with hugs.

"Hermione, you're amazing!" George crowed.

"C'mon, let us take you to lunch, our treat! You did just save us 325 galleons after all,"

"Shouldn't we be getting back to school?" Hermione worried.

"Hermione," George groaned, "we have two hours, we can eat for 30 minutes,"

"Yes," Hermione said, "but one of Umbridge's supporters might see us!"

Fred blinked, "You just dragged us into almost every shop in the Alley without caring who saw us,"

"No I didn't," Hermione responded, "I was careful about which shops we went into and about who was in the shop before we entered,"

"Muggle London then," George clarified, "Then nobody that's a pureblood supremacist will see us,"

"Do you even have muggle money?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah," George shrugged, "Dad doesn't really understand muggle currency. I asked for money to buy a pair of jeans and he handed me 200 pounds,"

"We've been saving it for a special occasion," Fred continued.

"I guess," Hermione murmured.

"Brilliant!" Fred draped his arm around her and began steering her out of the alley, "I know this amazing little Italian place,"

She had to admit, the food was pretty good.  
For that matter, so was the company.

**AN: Please let me know what you thought! Reviews mean a lot!**


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